I want you to know that you’re ok

I want you to know that you’re OK. You might be wondering, how do I know that, I don’t know you. I know that because I when I was in a fucked up place, I could not see that I was okay. But I was. I felt so fucked, in every way. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I felt like my spirit had been twisted in a physical, tangible way. I felt spiritually sick. To my stomach. I was flooded with negative, hateful, envious, rageful, resentful, bitter, petty, nasty thoughts. I felt stuck, completely and utterly hopeless. Beyond repair. Beyond hope. Too far gone. Like I was trapped beneath my conditioning, and I did NOT like my conditioning. At all. I felt like a cold person. I mean-spirited person. A hateful person. Inconsiderate. Self-centered. Dull. Timid. Cowardly. A taker. I still feel this way a lot of the time to be fair. But I can see beyond the lie that those things are set in stone. How do I know? Because I’ve had moments of warmth, good-spiritedness, love, consideration, other-centeredness, vitality, assertiveness, vitality, generosity. I still feel like shit a lot of the time. But I know that I’m fundamentally ok. And I know you are too.